Love me some whiskey. You that feeling when you fall in,over you get warm fuzzy feeling or when you hug a special person. Well I mean I can still fall in love with ppl but the overthinking in my mind ends up making lose interest. Then with hugs I want them but at the same time I don’t wanna opera needy so I don’t hug ppl plus sometimes I don’t wanna break down in ppl arms even tho it can ease my grief to hug ppl but idk man.... so yea but the only person who seems to understand and love me most is jack and well for that I tip my hat and made a song.....#alcoholic
I'm not feeling as depressed anymore which is good but I know it's gonna come back again full force lol. But thank you to everyone that's been checking on me, phone calls, texts messages, and memes that were sent to me I appreciate it much love to ya -tha artist
Back from a short vacay to hometown New York.....was a real emotional trip my depression is still up maybe %15 but I'm back and have 2 more videos to upload.......I can honestly say I need a hug tbh with you but I know it won't happen so hears to more beats IG:__thaartist__ Soundcloud: _ThaArtist **tag me if you use my beats** **tag me if you use my beats** **tag me if you use my beats**
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Sometimes I do day dream bout the day that I leave. I end up leaving loved one behind to start a new either alone or with a wife but for this song and how life has been I see myself leaving alone which is fine but this scene depicts how my departure would look like except “wheel”by John Mayer will be playing in my head lol. Which means imma shear tears as I walk away. But I’ll hug everyone goodbye kiss my mom goodbye confess few secrets to some ppl, kiss my lil sisters goodbye give them one last bit of life knowledge for them to use then take that lonely walk onto an airplane just to bee a silent memory.....funny how life works.... this is also a song for when I go ghost and ppl wonder where I am how I am and they can’t reach me because of social suicide and stuff like that I’m fine I’m just....I’m fine. But this is goodbye
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Lil dark video and idk it maybe the depression talking but a lot of my thoughts are facts I really hate my life and wanna die. I'm tired of waking up on this earth I really am....I don't anything going for me anymore. I think I'm gonna delete all these videos at end of the year not like they're gonna be remembered anyways so f it....
I wasn’t suppose to be making beats but bought some skullcandy headphones and had to test them out but.....I’m still never making beats again but Ayo someone trip to rip me open bout expressing my emotions on social media and I know no one reads my descriptions so I can say how hurt I am and how I’ve been publicly avoiding ppl on purpose not talking or hanging with anyone.....trying to see how long I can go permanently without talking....starting this year is the year of isolation aka the final destination....has a deeper meaning then you know.... Jan 25 weekend is gonna be the last time ppl hear my voice or cries for help....your just gonna see it with these pills I’ve been abusing jack daniels I’ve been over drinking and Constance chances to take my own life......2018 I’m not ready for you but imma let you beat down as much as you want I’m not trying anymore.....I’ve been kicked down for the last time I’m not gonna bother getting up.....for the ppl who cared bout me I’m sorry that I have to push you away but you can treat my the same way my father did for 25 years see me as a ghost or dead or don’t even exist may help you here cause I’m done.
Granted my dad was never in jail but he was never there for me and my stepdad didn't make much change either but it's been a hard 24 years (current age to making this video). But I've done so much by myself and this poem spoke volumes to me I had to throw it onto a smooth mix.
What it sounds like and feels like for me when I catch feeling for a person I can't for reason being me. She's either too young, or doesn't wanna get married or can't deal with my depression so I'm forced to have dreams. She's never gonna know until I'm on my death bed how I've felt and it's kinda embarrassing and weird for me but...... I sometimes.... Dreams of what could never be.....I often daydream bout it which leads too more questions. What's wrong with me, do I need to change, what can I do to have forever with this person. What is it bout me they don't see, and do they even feel me. Overthinking kills me so I resort to shouting it out with music. Or beats but I've decided to become one with my thoughts, my demons, my depression and my over thinking. I've decided to take out this headphones and hear everything I don't wanna hear Everything that blows within this sweet hurricane......
So I decided to go back to seeing my therapist but yet my back account keeps getting hacked and someone keeps stealing my money.....this is the third time this week.....and while depressed tbh frank I tried to kill myself didn’t work not gonna explain why but yea therapy is a must now
"Everything in the world has a significant balance and as king you need to understand that balance" - Mufasa Story: since my name is Josiah I like to give myself a title as a king but.........I'm no where near king I'm not even a prince more like a jester I'm a huge joke (idk if that the depression talking) but for the ppl out there who are kings and queens hope you can find your balance in this world cause "I can't tell you why"......keep pushing and enjoy the view ***tag me if you use my beats** **tag me if you use my beats** **tag me if you use my beats** IG: __thaartist__ Soundcloud: _ThaArtist